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Cats Don’t Fetch – How to Play

CATS DON’T FETCH — OFFICIAL RULES

The card game you play with your cat

Download Printable Rules (PDF)

Cats Don't Fetch - the card game you play with your cat

Welcome!

Cats Don’t Fetch is a lighthearted game designed for humans and their cats. It’s simple, silly, and all about enjoying whatever your cat decides to do next.

Only play when your cat feels like joining in. Don’t wake, grab, or force them. If your cat wanders off, falls asleep, or decides to stare into the void instead… that’s part of the fun. You can pause and resume whenever they’re ready.

Goal of the Game

Score points by getting your cat to complete the actions shown on the cards. First player to reach 20 points wins (or choose your own target).

Setup

Shuffle the deck.

Each player draws 3 cards to form their hand.

Keep the draw pile face down in the centre.

It can help to have a toy or two handy (string, wand toy, shoelace — anything cat-safe).

Optional extra: give each player 3 treats as “bribes”.

If you have multiple cats, play with whichever one is most willing at that moment.

Gameplay

Your hand is always three cards. 

Players take turns clockwise. 

On your turn, start by checking your hand — draw until you have 3 cards.

Choose one card to play. If none of your cards are playable — for example, you draw only Chaos Cards and See It, Score It cards — discard any one card and draw a replacement. If you draw a new card but still can’t act, then your turn ends.

Play your chosen card and resolve it:

  • Solo Cards: you attempt the action.

  • Head-to-Head Cards: choose an opponent — both of you act, but it is still your turn.

  • Everyone Act! Cards: all players join in, but the turn still belongs to you.

If the action succeeds, keep the card in your score pile; if not, discard it.

At the end of your turn, draw back up to 3 cards.

Gameplay continues until someone reaches 20 points.

Winning the Game

First to 20 points wins.

Or try these variants:

  • Quick game: play to 10 points

  • Epic game: play to 30

  • Timed game: highest score after 10 minutes

 

Cat's Don't Fetch action cards

CARD TYPES

Action Cards

These timed cards use a 30-second round. If the action succeeds in the time you win the points shown; if not, discard the card.

Solo Cards

Your personal challenge. Tempt your cat to do the action. If you’re succesful keep the card and score the points. 

Head-to-Head Cards

Choose an opponent. You both try the action simultaneously. First player to succeed scores the points. If no one succeeds, discard the card.

Everyone Act! Cards

All players attempt the action at once. First to succeed wins the points; otherwise discard.

See It, Score It Cards

Keep these in a separate “watch pile” and observe your cat. If your cat naturally does the action, shout the trigger word (e.g., “Noise!”, “Wash!”, “Yawn!”) and immediately score the card. Inspired by cats who refuse to perform on command. No prompting the cat allowed.

Chaos Cards

These cards may help you, hinder others, or cause complete chaos. Examples: swap, steal, discard & redraw. Follow the instructions on each card. After use, discard the Chaos Card.

 

 

Rules Clarifications & Edge Cases

What if the cat quits the game?

If your cat leaves the room, falls asleep, or demands dinner, the game ends immediately — count up scores. 

What if the cat leaves mid-turn?

That’s their right. Finish the turn: if no action happens, that’s no points.

What if I have multiple cats?

Lucky you! If there are multiple cats, the player must nominate which cat they are playing with for that turn. Players can not switch cats mid-turn. When playing Head-to-Head or Everyone Act! cards, players may choose to work with the same cat or different cats. Just try not to let any cat feel snubbed… they remember these things.

When can Chaos Cards be played?

If a Chaos card can interrupt another player’s turn, its text will say so. If a Chaos card doesn’t specify otherwise, it can only be played on your own turn before you start your action.

What counts as success?

If the cat obviously did the thing, it counts. If players disagree, let the cat decide:

  • Tail swish within 30 seconds? → No points

  • Calm, peaceful acceptance? → Points awarded

What if the cat performs multiple actions at once?

Score the card you played. Other players with matching See It, Score It cards can also claim their points.

What if the cat does something almost like the action?

Use common sense or house rules. Cats know no rules — the humans must improvise.

 

Safety First (for humans AND cats)

  • Never wake or pick up your cat to force actions.

  • Never dangle unsafe objects without supervision.

  • End the game if your cat seems stressed.

  • And remember: this is just a game; overly competitive humans may encounter sudden claws of justice.

 

HOUSE RULES & GAME VARIANTS

Want to mix things up? Try these optional twists to tailor the chaos to your cat.

Bribery Mode

Each player starts with three cat treats to use whenever persuasion fails. (We make no guarantees about fairness. Or dignity.)

Toy Time

At the start of the game, each player chooses a toy to use throughout — feather wands, string, crinkly balls, shoelaces… anything safe. Use it to tempt, distract, or negotiate with your feline.

Chill Mode

Skip the 30-second timer entirely. Count (roughly) to twenty… or until someone says, “Yeah, that feels about right.”

Challenge Mode

Feeling brave? This version leaves no room for strategy. Each turn, draw one card and you must play whatever you pick up. Keep any Chaos or See It, Score It cards — you can unleash those at any time.

My Cat’s Better Than Your Cat

If you have multiple cats each player nominates one cat to use throughout the game. You must always use your chosen cat on every turn.

 

Final Note

Cats have never cared about rules, structure, or your carefully planned strategy. So don’t worry about playing this game “properly.” Just enjoy the silly, sweet, surprising moments with your favourite furry teammate.

And remember: your cat always wins. You’re just here for the points.

Cat playing Cats Don't Fetch card game